


How to Be a Good Kitty

by Uchiha_Blood



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cats, M/M, Non-Human Perspective
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-18 23:34:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9407747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uchiha_Blood/pseuds/Uchiha_Blood
Summary: Sasuke is having one of those nights where he's in and out of consciousness, but when he wakes up at one point, things get a little...hairy.





	1. Learning How To Cat

Sasuke had been drifting in and out of consciousness all night. Occasionally, the eerie shadows cast by the headlights of a passing vehicle whispered for his quasi-awake attention. Sprawled on his side with the blankets snaked about, he stretched and yawned. Judging by the lack of distant chatter and the misty darkness outside his window, it must have been early morning. 

Insomnia wasn't uncommon for him, but something still felt off. He wasn't in any sort of pain, he wasn't any more depressed than usual… 

Everything seemed larger somehow. The bed, the half opened blinds, the pillow under his head felt like a body pillow instead of a standard one. Not to mention the fact that he could see quite well despite the early hour. 

He tried to sit up. But his arms didn't bend right. Looking down, he realized that his arms were very hairy. That perplexed him, as he'd never had much more than peach fuzz even at 20 years old. 

That's when he noticed the paws. There, on the end of his furry arms, were round little paws. 

What was meant to be an expletive-embellished rhetorical question came out sounding more like, “Miiiaoow?!”

This had to be a dream. He just knew it. There was no way he could have been transformed into a cat in the middle of the night. 

He tried to sit up again, but this time, the way a cat would. Well, more or less. It wasn't easy being a quadruped when you've lived your whole life bipedally. 

He had to get help. But how? And who? The first person he thought of was Naruto. Would he be able to fix the situation? Probably not, but he would let in a cold, shivering cat and two in the morning. What a softie. But that would be to his advantage for once. 

He knew how to get to Naruto's house no problem. The issue was going to be actually physically doing so. Step one was learning how to cat. 

Actually, step one wouldn't be possible until he stood up. He had interacted with a number of ninneko in his early years, but even with the knowledge of feline postures and motions, something told him that in practice it wouldn't be so easy. 

Bracing his front paws against the rickety old mattress, he slowly lifted his haunches and positioned his back legs and paws comfortably. That wasn't so hard. 

And soon, one paw in front of the other, he was pacing the perimeter of his bed with some semblance of ease. An odd sensation rumbled from within him, disconcerting and yet strangely soothing. 

He was purring. 

Refocusing on the task at hand--or paw--he crept towards the edge of the bed and peered down at the floor. He decided not to think too much about it and hopped down onto the musty old carpet. He could smell everything. And it was not pleasant.

The next obstacle the newly turned feline encountered was the door. There was no way he could reach the doorknob, and even if he could, he no longer had opposable thumbs. But the old dog flap that had been welded shut years ago was beginning to rust. With enough force, he just might be able to…

KERTHUMP.

Not the most graceful or practical way out, but effective. Sasuke shook himself off and instinctively licked his paws. After a satisfactory bath, he began to slink down the hall and out into the lobby. The doorman had propped open the side door to unload the day's mail delivery, which made for the perfect escape route. 

Once he was outside, however, Sasuke realized that his perspective had changed so much that navigation would be nearly impossible. How was he going to get to Naruto?


	2. Idiots

Sasuke blinked, squinting up at the street signs. He couldn't read them very well, being much closer to the ground than he was accustomed to. And who knew if he could even read anyway? He was a cat, after all.

Perhaps he would have to rely on landmarks and muscle memory. Having left the apartment building through the side door rather than the front, he would have to follow the side of the building until he could see a familiar route. 

He avoided a few minor obstacles with little effort, but when he came to Main Street--the only road with any traffic this early in the day--he had to stop and wait for an opening. 

Two delivery trucks, four sedans, and a lone man on a moped rumbled past. Everything was so much louder, and he could hear so much more. Ears flat against his head, he impulsively made a run for it. He narrowly avoided an oncoming car with a desperate leap, landing in a heap.

“Meaahh!”

Before the concerned truck driver could get out and see if he was okay, however, he picked himself up and trotted on into the fading night. The walk from his apartment to Naruto's house seemed a lot longer than usual, but he assumed that was because his legs were much shorter. 

Suddenly, a group of drunk college students spilled out onto the sidewalk in front of him.

“Hey, look, a kitty! It's your friend,” slurred the taller boy with multiple piercings and dark hair.

“Kitty kitty kitty!” the fat guy exclaimed, immediately running towards a startled Sasuke. “Here kitty kitty!”

The emo guy and two other friends--one a scrawny androgynous individual and the other an athletic-looking brunette with her hair in a ponytail--watched and laughed as their chubby companion chased after the cat in vain.   
“Let me love you!!!!”

That was all Sasuke heard before he took off as fast as he could away from the intoxicated cat lover. When he finally stopped running, he realized he was lost. 

“Meeyooww,” he cursed. 

Wait.

Wait a minute.

That smell. What was it? It was so familiar, yet he couldn't quite place it. Salty and heavily laden with preservatives…

_Instant ramen._

Only one person would be making instant ramen at this hour. 

He followed his nose to a familiar house a few doors down from where he had paused to catch his breath. Now to get his attention…

“Meow!”

Nothing.

“Mrowr!”

Nope.

“Meeeeee-yow!”

Nada.

Time to get serious. 

“MROWR! EEEEEYOW! RRREEEOW! MEEROWR! MOWRR! RRROW! MEEYAAH!”

Finally, a half-asleep Naruto answered the door. “Shoo, kitty.”

He tried to close the door in Sasuke's face, not knowing who he was. To him, he was just another noisy cat. But Sasuke pawed at the door, meowing plaintively up at him.

“Go away, kitty. I don't have any food for you.”

Grimacing inwardly, Sasuke pulled the most adorable face he could muster. “Mew?”

“I don't have any food… well, I have ramen, but kitties don't like that.”

“Mew.”

“Well, I can at least give you some water. Do you wanna come in, kitty?”

But Sasuke had already darted inside, heading straight for the living room. Naruto laughed, going to the kitchen for a bowl of water and his ramen, which was now ready. He set the water down in front of Sasuke and sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. 

Sasuke blinked. He sniffed at the water, politely and tentatively lapping some up while trying not to look like an idiot. 

“You don't look like a stray. Who do you belong to, kitty cat?” Naruto asked. “I guess I shouldn't ask you that, you can't answer me.” 

Sasuke glared at him.

“Okay, sorry I asked! Sheesh.”

Sasuke licked one paw, almost as a reflex. It felt strange, yet soothing. 

“So, little buddy,” Naruto paused, slurping the last of his ramen, “are you a nice kitty kitty?” He offered his hand to sniff, just as he had often seen Kiba do when he encountered an unfamiliar dog. Perhaps the same principle applied to cats. 

Sasuke guessed what his friend was trying to do, and, with some amount of begrudging, sniffed delicately at the extended extremity, noting how much larger it seemed now. Naruto smiled, gently scratching behind his ears. 

“There's a good kitty…”

Sasuke couldn't help but purr. Naruto's hand was warm and gentle, and he just wanted to bury his face in it. Something made him roll onto his back, and the belly rub that followed was damn well worth it. 

“I'm gonna have to call you something, huh?” Naruto mused, reminding Sasuke of his purpose in being here. 

He got to his feet and hopped up onto the sofa, then the back of the armchair, then onto the antique dresser that had a few picture frames on it. Deciding to be surprised that he had made all three leaps later, he began to paw at one of the frames.

“Whoa, kitty! Get down from there,” Naruto cried, hurrying over to remove the cat from the piece of furniture before he broke anything. 

But the look in Sasuke's eyes and the tone of his curt meow made him stop. 

“Wait, are you trying to tell me something? You're a ninneko, aren't you?! That explains why…”

Sasuke nodded. That was true, more or less.

“Okay, so what are you trying to say?” 

He pawed at the photo again.

“Yeah, that's me and my teammates from several years ago. What about it?”

He placed one paw over his face, as if to point. “Meeeeyy!”

“Sasuke?”

“Meow!” This was going to be easier than he thought.

“Oh my god, is something wrong with Sasuke? Is he hurt? Did he do something bad?”

Never mind.

“Meeeee.”

“I have to go and check on him right away!” Naruto declared. 

This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That fat guy with his friends? The one chasing Sasu-kitty? That me.

**Author's Note:**

> It's three in the morning, I haven't slept properly in a week, and the last time I wrote anything "serious" was in like October or something. Forgive the low quality.


End file.
